In this journey called life, I have taken many roads and have been fortunate to encounter many different people - everything and everyone leading to the person I am today and will become tomorrow. Nothing happens by chance. We might not know why "it" happens today, or tomorrow, or ever - just knowing there's a reason alleviates a lot of the everyday stress that too many people experience. My philosophy is that if "it" won't matter to me in a year, I don't let "it" bother me today.
But allow me to digress...
I grew up in a small, conservative town in Indiana (in one of the only liberal homes in the area). This was confusing to the then-fragile identity I was nurturing (I voted Republican in my third grade class election in an attempt to fit in). The power of the vote was always stressed by my mom and dad, who took my sister and me to the polling place during each election while they snuck behind the thick secrecy of the velvet curtains that used to surround each polling machine. It didn't matter for whom they voted - it mattered that they voted. Even if I had asked, chances are that neither of them would divulge (voting was personal). Period. I remember thinking how much fun it would be to have the golden ticket that would allow me behind those velvet curtains (which I equated to the curtains that shrouded "The Wizard of Oz" at the time).
I told you I'd digress, but the morale of that story is that it is important to vote!
I grew up in that small town and eventually set my sites on somewhere larger. I chose New York City. I was accepted to an acting conservatory in Manhattan to which less than 4% of applicants were accepted. At 18 years old, I moved to the mecca that was the Big Apple (though to this day, I have no idea why NYC is called "The Big Apple"). Looking back, I see how brave I really was - leaving everything my young self knew and relocating to a place that most people only see on television or read about in books. Alone. I knew it was where I was supposed to be. I had memorized maps so I'd never get lost and longed to actually be there to tell someone at Macy's the direction of 34th street.
That was an amazing experience. To this day I consider many of the people with whom I shared that experience to be family. We lived, breathed, and ate our experience. In many ways, we still do - just in different ways. Jackie and Esther with their ever-changing hair colors, Brian and I with our shopping schedules. Maren and I with our tastes for the unexpected. Bert with his stories of Long Island. Zach with his sailor pants. We were quite the team, all of us. And good thing - we we stuck together for a full year and a half. Then graduation.
We all took different paths. Did you expect us all to end up on SNL together? It didn't happen (though I accepted a feature role on the show during Ben Affleck's appearance - as the make-out guy in the Sully and Denise skit). No autographs, please.
During that time, I appeared in several feature films. "Wow!," you might be thinking. Yeah, it achieved a "Wow." Just not the "Wow" you're thinking. By that time, I was property. I could say anything and be anything I wanted, as long as what I said and was equated to what Wilhelmina said I was. I was no longer my own person. I had signed a contract and therefore was the property of Wilhelmina (to this day I adore Wilhelmina and the staff and encourage those wanting to make a name in show business to sign with Wilhelmina if given the chance). It just wasn't for me. I wanted more.
Fast forward a few months, and you'll find me taking a call from a dear friend, Susie. She worked for the Miss Universe Organization. The president's assistant had recently had foot surgery and was unable to make it to the office. Lucky coincedence - I could be there. At the time, I was working for "Good Morning America" as an audience coordinator and was finished for the day at 9:30am. After the wrap, I high-tailed it from the studio at 42nd street to the office at 56th street and checked in for duty. Susie didn't tell me what to expect...
"Are you Wanda?" Those were the first words I remember barked at me from the beautiful woman with the long, dark hair. "I'm covering for someone who had foot surgery" was my reply. "I need you to to take notes for a meeting." That was Maureen. My Mo. Little did I know at that moment that that woman (who turned out to be the president of the organization - hand-picked by Donald Trump himself) would become my mentor and confidante. We seemed to understand each other almost immediatley. Neither of us wanted to bulls&$t anyone and wanted no one to bulls&$t us. I became her right-hand man - and people knew it. And I liked that. Maureen's needs were my needs. And I was happy to comply. To this day, she's one of idols as far as how to handle the business world.
Eventually, Maureen left the company. I was devastated. She was my rock (although Erin and I ate her chocolate covered macadamia nuts in a fit of rebellion while clearing out her office). I should have considered Maureen's finale my own, but instead I was promoted. "Talent Development Coordinator" was my new title, and I was so excited. It was a great job - one I had wanted while an executive assistant. Something was missing, though - and that something was Maureen.
Then September 11, 2001.
I woke up in my townhouse in the gated community (something I thought was very exclusive and very New York City). I saw the reports of the first plane hitting the tower and I thought, "That's going to take a while to fix." I called my mom to let her know my office wasn't near the towers. As we were talking a second plane hit the second tower and she said, "This is terrorism." I refused to believe it. I went on my way and got ready for work. On my way, I called Erica, who didn't answer and I said, "Hey, panic in New York. Just wanted to let you know I'm ok." That was it. I was mocking what the news had seemingly made the day to be - I was wrong.
I remember a woman praying the rosary on that train ride and realizing it was real.
There was real panic. There was real fear - I thanked God that I was able to speak to my mom and that I liked the outfit I decided to wear (funny what we think of and are thankful for when we think we might die). By the time I got to my office the first tower had collapsed, and Annette and I clasped hands watching the devastation in the conference room.
I spent a year with my freedom in the Big Apple, but the Big Apple is exhausting and expensive - I decided I needed home. Indiana. I moved back and got a job working with emotionally disabled middle school kids. That was an amazing year, but again, I wanted more.
I enrolled as a student again for the first time in several years - in a program that would grant me a bachelor's degree (something that my acting conservatory could not). I surrounded myself with my studies, and found a home with the communication department. There was no turning back. I recieved my bachelor's degree in media and public communication. But I wanted more. The professors in the communication department (especially Dr. Dacia Charlesworth) helped me prove to myself that I will always be capable of much more than I expected of myself.
And here I am, in graduate school - learning more than I ever thought I would. I was also fortunate to receive a graduate teaching assistantship that allows me to teach two sections of the basic communication course while I earn my Master's degree. Teaching at the university level has been amazing and most of the time I don't feel like I have a job - I always look forward to going and delving in on many communication topics with all of our diverse perspectives. I'm looking forward to teaching until I graduate in May, 2011.
After graduation, I'm planning to move back to my beloved New York City. I'm not 100% certain what I'll do when I get back, but I have a few ideas.
This brings me to this moment and the person who inspires me to live my life to the fullest - my mom. Four years ago this February, my mom was given 3 months to live. Devastating to say the least. I thought I would never smile again. Four years later, my mom continues to baffle doctors and nurses with her resolve. She's my miracle and my inspiration. After all, she's the one who has stressed throughout my life, "You can be anything you want to be. With hard work, there's nothing stopping you."
You are my inspiration, mom.
With that, be well.
